Burn Notice - Farewell, Fiona

TV Review
Linked to the USA Network

Burn Notice - Season 5, Episode 18: “Fail Safe”

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As a spy, you plan for every contingency.

Michael finally passed the grade with his boss Pierce. He received his first real assignment from the C.I.A.  Job, secure a man who recruits American spies to spy against their country.

Pass the blueberry yogurt. Michael is all over this.

But there’s still this little hiccup. If Michael doesn’t do exactly what blackmailing son-of-a-biscuit Anson wants, Fiona will face life in prison. First mission for Michael, take Anson out.

He surprised Anson at the parking lot where Anson held a fake job. Fi with sniper rifle across the way took a shot at Anson. But a few convincing words from Anson had Michael spare his life.

Michael cannot risk the slightest chance Fiona won’t come out of this free and clear.

Grey’s Anatomy – A Letter to Owen

TV Review

Grey’s Anatomy - Season 8, Episode 19: “Support System.”

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Dear Owen,

You cheated on Yang. It’s not unforgivable nor incomprehensible. It’s what men do. You’re hardwired to disassociate emotions from intimacy. Women are hardwired to associate emotions with intimacy.

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

Yang wanted you to tell her about the intimate details of your extra marital intimate encounter. Owen, you refused. You did not want to torture your faithful wife with details of your infidelity. You could not see the good that it would bring.

Owen, please understand a woman needs to know two things when a man cheats on her:

HOW?

and

WHY! 

Storage Wars – Hollywood lockers filled with Bleep!

TV Review

Storage Wars - Season 2, Episode 26: “Hooray for Holly-Weird.”

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Jarrod and Brandi reopened their newly renovated thrift store. They need inventory like bad. Next auction at North Hollywood.

NoHo units nestled next to all the Hollywood studios. Bidders hope to discover some old Hollywood star memorabilia. But what they hope for isn’t what’s in the units.

First locker crappity, crap, crap, crap-o-lah! Trash bags full of clothes. Boxes.
Nothing good in plain sight. Bid war between Dave and Barry. Fellas, there’s noth-ing there.

Say it with me, Not-A-Thing. Dave upped the bid and Barry took the bait. Bought unit for $2000. Barry, Barry, Barry, what were you thinking...

Among the midst of crappity, crap, crap Barry found an old fashion top hat. He took it for appraisal. Hat, although in good condition worth about $450. Barry bought the unit for $2k. The collector to become a selector, ha!

Pawn Stars – James Bond lights a cig with Dunhill

TV Review

Pawn Stars - Season 5, Episode 11: “Help Wanted.”

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Not a profitable day at the Las Vegas pawnshop. Items bought:

• Police Pedal Car – $65
• Vintage Dunhill Lighter – $1,100

Seller came in with a German made 1890-1891 combination drilling rifle. This simply means it’s a shotgun and rifle, three barrels (funky looking). Bob the armor expert was not impressed when he appraised the gun.

Dents on the barrel. Cracks on the side plate. Replaced hammer. Valued at about $300-$400.

Rick passed because honestly, best anyone could do with it was to hang it on a wall. Could turn it into a curtain rod, just saying.

NCIS – EJ back from the Dead

TV Review

NCIS - Season 9, Episode 12: “Housekeeping.”

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Do you remember NCIS Agent Erica Jane? She’s blonde, tough (but not as tough as Ziva) and hot. She didn’t die but left Tony for dead.

Let me back up a bit. Navy Commander shot in neck in his own car. Woman fled the scene. NCIS team went on a woman-hunt. Found the woman but not what they were expecting. Lazarus back from the dead as it were. EJ was alive.

Don’t you just love TV shows how they bring characters back from the dead. EJ was easy to explain. She wore bulletproof jacket when shot. Oh, just go with it.

EJ went off the radar since that night. She thought Tony was dead. For two days until she heard Tony lived. Uh, EJ didn’t bother to let Tony know that she was alive. Thanks, sweetheart.

The Good Wife – Is this the End for Will Gardner?

TV Review

The Good Wife - Season 3, Episode 15: “Live From Damascus.”

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That vindictive ambitious political climbing beotch Wendy Scott-Carr!

She “anonymously” reported Will to the bar association. That Will took $45,000 from a client’s account, which he did but he quickly returned the money.

It happened 15 years ago but there’s no statute of limitations. Will could lose his license to practice law.

Diane spoke to one of the bar association board members and told a little white lie (thank you, Diane). The board applauded Will that he started a pro bono department in the firm (that was Diane’s idea, not Will’s).

The bar association gave Will 24-hours to go against a hearing or suspend his license for six months. Will had one last case to finish and he was going down in a blaze of glory.

Castle – Get Your Handcuffs off of Me!

TV Review

Castle - Season 4, Episode 10: "Cuffed."

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Castle and Beckett woke up in bed together (you knew it would eventually happen), handcuffed, (but maybe not quite like you imagined) in a dark room (now it’s creepy). Both drugged both with short-term memory loss and trapped in a basement.

My first thought, “Not again, these two trapped in a near fatal situation.” But because they didn’t know how they got there I was intrigued. No wallet, no gun, no cell phone, it’s was bleak. As they put the pieces of the puzzle together the story unfolded.

Case of the dead ghost hunter (hey, we all have to make a living somehow). Police investigation about a dead man found at an abandoned hospital. Only witness a loony homeless man.

Beckett and Castle hit a road block. That’s when Castle caught a glimpse of a bar code on a piece of envelope (evidence). Arrived at address to the house, but the rest a haze. Did they bother to tell Ryan or Eposito? Uh, no.

The crux of the story was how the detective and writer brainstormed their way out of the basement. They remembered a house. A woman trapped in a cage. Beckett asked Castle if she had any marks on her back.

Grey’s Anatomy - Surgeons Flee-Fight-Flu-Flunk

TV Review

Grey’s Anatomy - Season 8, Episode 21: “The Moment of Truth.”

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The GIANT of the surgeon’s oral exam was upon them.

Five of Seattle Grace’s residents had to fly to San Francisco to take their exam. Make it or break it time.

Meredith, Christina, Avery, Karev, and Kepner all boarded the shuttle. Owen told Kepner to say out loud, ‘I am a soldier.’ Didn’t help. Kepner was a mess.

Once they arrived at the lobby of the hotel Kepner was the first to make an enemy with another competing resident. Great, just great.

Karev’s mind was not present. He was caught up on his intern’s preemie baby. Poor little baby would need another surgery. Karev called Dr. Robbins and she told him there was nothing he could do. So what did Alex do?

FLEE

Once Upon a Time – Why Evil Queen HATES Snow White

TV Review

Once Upon a Time - Season 1, Episode 18: “The Stable Boy.”

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The Evil Queen was once just an ordinary woman (cough, cough) who loved to ride horses. But she also loved a certain stable boy, oo-la-la.

Regina’s father Henry was super nice but her mother (with magical powers) was a piece of work. (Bad apple does not fall far from the evil tree, just saying.)

Regina and the stable boy spent time together as young lovers do. Planned on running away together to start a new life. Who perchance happened to ride pass them on a horse gone wild?

A very young Snow White.

Regina got on her steed and rescued the little girl. (Oh, bleepity bleep, Regina was not only ordinary but nice at one time.) Of course, Snow White’s father, who happened to be a King found out about the incident.

He came to thank Regina. Then he proposed to her! What twisted thank-you was that?

Covert Affairs – No, You Can’t Kill My Sister

TV Review

Covert Affairs - Season 2, Episode 16: "Letter Never Sent."

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Even spies need a vacation.

The beginning of this past season Annie confessed to her sister Danielle that she was a spy. 'I want you to move out!' That went over well. Annie moved out rented a safe house.

The year was uh, exciting and dangerous for the covert spy. Bullets whizzed by her head. Annie was in a near fatal bomb attack. Insult to injury her face was sucker punched.

Annie drove over to Danielle’s to tell her she’s going on vacation. Her sister sat alone in tears. Why? Lying, cheating, rooting-tooting man of hers. Annie invited her sister to join her on vacation to Stockholm.

Bad idea - HUGE!

Glee – To Whitney Houston with Love

TV Review

Glee - Season 3, Episode17: “Dance with Somebody.”

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Mercedes held a photo of Whitney Houston. She sang, “How Will I Know.” She walked down the hallway and was joined by Rachel, Kurt, and Santana. It’s A Cappella for most of the song and it’s beautiful.

Will thought it would be a great for Glee club to pay tribute to Whitney Houston. Everyone was game. During class Brittany cut loose in uber-fast choreographed number, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.”

Brittany wanted to dance with everyone. Including Quinn though she's in a wheelchair because of the car accident. Brittany stated that she danced with Quinn in her dreams and that Quinn could fly and breathe fire (she definitely lives in her own little planet).

Not being able to dance stung Quinn a bit.

Revenge – Graysons are MURDERERS!

TV Review

Revenge - Season 1, Episode 18: “Justice.”

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Emily knew her father died in prison.

He found himself in the crosshairs of a prison fight. But that’s not the absolute truth. The truth -- Graysons had him killed!

Day 15 of Daniel’s trial.

It’s no longer sunny summer time at the Hampton's. It's a bitter winter. Daniel was in trouble. Prosecution mounted physical evidence against him. Slick Victoria not about to allow her son to go to jail.

She hired Thug-Man once again to threaten the family of Juror #3. Cause a hung jury.

How did Emily find out? Emily bugged the Grayson’s house. Now she can hear their dirty little secrets.

Before we get to that here’s a run down of events:

• Jack chased after fake Amanda but couldn’t find her
• Declan testified Charlotte was drunk and on drugs at the crime scene
• Charlotte continued her drug use with an old boyfriend
• Conrad threatened Victoria's artist lover to leave town
• Emily ransacked Jack’s home to steal the bloodied hoodie

Emily’s turn to burn.

She took Jack’s hoodie and placed it inside Thug-Man’s car. Then she anonymously put out an Amber alert. Police quickly found the car. Thug-Man arrested on spot. Thug-Man saw the bloodied hoodie inside his car.

‘Hey, that’s not mine!’

Who’s going to believe him? Emily now had the Graysons cornered. Thug-Man would reveal all of their dirty little secrets. Every payoff. Every evil deed to save his own skin from life in prison.

Thug-Man died!

As Daniel’s defense lawyer came to see him the guards found Thug-Man hanging inside his cell. Chaos. There was a suicide note. No way would Thug-Man would kill himself.

Nolan dropped by Emily’s place and she replayed a phone conversation of Conrad. All this time she had been focused on how the Graysons framed her father, David Clark. She did not consider how her father really died.

She was told that it was a prison fight. David got caught in the struggle. But because she bugged Conrad's study she discovered the real truth.

Conrad made a call. Ask the man on the phone to do what he did to David Clark to someone else at Riker’s. That’s how Thug-Man died. He was killed.

That means…  

Graysons are MURDERERS! 

Watch Revenge Wednesdays 10/9c on ABC.

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Nikita – Percy is Free

TV Review

Nikita - Season 2, Episode 13: “Clean Sweep.”

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Percy had Oversight hostage through his loyal Guardians. Division endangered of a gas massacre except for Amanda. She had a gas mask in her office. (You didn’t think she’d go down with the ship, did you?)


Ex-Navy Seal Sean held hostage by Nikita and company. Who will make the first move is this chess game of disaster?

Amanda agreed to a trade. Percy for the “clean sweep” briefcase. (That had bad idea written all over it.) She released Percy under escort. As Percy entered the elevator Amanda noticed Percy exchanged a look with the half-melted face guy. Now Amanda’s apprised of Division’s saboteur.

Nikita’s team split up. Alex assigned to walk back into Division to disable the trigger in the ventilation system. Nikita, Michael and Sean rushed to save Oversight.

Save Division. Save Oversight. Isn’t this insane?

Once Upon a Time - How Rumpelstiltskin lost his Son

TV Review

Once Upon a Time - Season 1, Episode 19: “The Return.”

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Rumpelstiltskin never broke a contract or deal except on one occasion. And it was a doozy. It cost him his family.

In fairy tale land the dark power Rumpelstiltskin accidentally inherited got stronger. Made him into a monster. A killer. Case in point, his son Bae was accidentally hit by a donkey cart. Bae told his father he was fine.

Had a small gash on his leg. The driver of the donkey cart profusely apologized. Rumpel zapped the poor sob into a snail. And if that was not bad enough, Rumpel then squashed the snail.

GROSS!

No justice in this world. Bae wanted his father to become the man he was, a kind and meek man (hard to believe, I know). They talked about it over dinner.

If Bae could find a way without using the dagger to return his father to normal, would his dad make the deal. That meant no more magic. Be normal like everyone else (no gold skin or stringy hairdo).

Deal.

Hart of Dixie – Daddy Issues

TV Review

Hart of Dixie Season 1, Episode 17: “Heart to Hart.”

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Eight months. That’s how long Zoe’s dad stopped speaking to her. She practiced her “indifferent face.” Her “whateva” face. And her “doesn’t bother me” face.

Her father arrived at the hospital. George’s dad needed the best surgeon. So here came the king of surgery, Zoe’s dad. Driven in a black town car. Strolled out with that self-important strut that doctors carry.

Zoe’s face fell. So much for her indifference because she became daddy’s little girl the moment she saw him. They were cordial. And he demanded she be on the surgical staff.

The surgery was a success. The relationship between Zoe and her father however a mess. Now that he knows he’s not her biological father he had suggestions. Very stupid suggestions.

‘Let’s be friends.’

He had been her father all her life and now he wants to be friends? Colleagues? Get along as professionals? Zoe contemplated that a relationship is better than no relationship with her father.

Glee – Saturday Night Fever

TV Review

Glee - Season 3, Episode 16: “Saturday Night Glee-ver.”

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This was the best episode EVER!

Show quickly opens with Blaine singing “You Should Be Dancing.” Brittany and Mike accompanied him. The whole scene down the hallway very Travoltaesque!

Will and Coach Sylvester tried to convince everyone to find their dream through the music of Saturday Night Fever. Glee members grumpy because according to them...

Disco sucks!

Once Upon a Time – Origins of the Mad Hatter

TV Review

Once Upon a Time - Season 1, Episode 17: “Hat Trick.”

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Evil Queen can drive a person crazy (probably everyone she’s ever met). But this time she really did drive someone insane.

MAD HATTER!

He was not always the Mad Hatter, at least not the “mad” part. His name was Jefferson in Storybrooke. He had a magical hat that could transport people to other lands. Evil Queen did not possess that type of magic. So she found a way to manipulate him (which she does so well).

He had a daughter. Could not provide for her and the Evil Queen promised Jefferson’s daughter would want for nothing. Jefferson concurred. He spun his hat. It got bigger and bigger and bigger. Evil Queen and Jefferson jumped inside.

They were in Wonderland!

Queen of Hearts had taken something from the Evil Queen. It was inside a box stored in a small building. Evil Queen put a little sliver of mushroom inside the box (I guess it was magic?).

*POOF*

The Big Bang Theory – Sheldon dressed as a French Maid

TV Review

The Big Bang Theory - Season 5, Episode 21: “The Hawking Excitation.”

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Sheldon Cooper has one true hero (outside of all his favorite comic book superheroes) and that’s Dr. Stephen Hawking. The most brilliant scientist on the planet. To whom Sheldon compares him as his intellectual equal (cough, cough).

Hawking made a visit to the University. Howard was asked to work on his wheel chair. You know what that meant. Sheldon would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to meet his hero.

Howard owned Sheldon.

And yes Howard took advantage. He had Sheldon polish all his belt buckles, a huge lot of them. Howard told Sheldon to clean off the spots of urine from the back splash. Say it with me--

GROSS!

Sheldon used turtle wax for that job. He also did Howard’s laundry. Sheldon also went dress shopping with Howard’s mother (gawd). All of this so that Hawking would read Sheldon’s latest research paper and to meet the famous scientist.

The Good Wife - I like you but I don't like you

TV Review

The Good Wife - Season 3, Episode 19: “Blue Ribbon Panel.”

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Blue Ribbon Panel. A new partner to replace Will. F.B.I. lesbian. What do these three have in common? All part of the day in the life of Lockhart & Associates.

Diane swamped with work asked Alicia to take her place on a blue ribbon panel presided by Mike Kresteva (Matthew Perry). The panel reviewed a police investigation. Officer shot and killed a civilian.

Cop was white. Victim was black. Panel consisted of judges, a black priest and a token woman, Alica.

What should have been a cut and dry inquiry became a true investigation because of Alicia. She asked questions. Mike annoyed as were the judges. But she uncovered inconsistencies in the police officer’s testimony (you go, girl!). That irked Mike.

Then she got the panel on her side to continue with the investigation. Mike then spun doctored her questions. Lead to possible fault at the state attorney’s office, Alicia’s husband. She had to recuse herself.

Mike didn’t like Alicia.
Alicia didn’t like Mike.

Revenge – Daniel goes to jail for MURDER!

TV Review

Revenge - Season 1, Episode 16: “Scandal.”

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We now know who shot and killed Tyler. We also know the secret that catapulted Graysons to frame David Clark.

First the secret.

Victoria was in love with David Clark. She did not bother with the intricacies of the Grayson family business. Conrad saw the news one night. A plane downed by terrorist group. Conrad distraught. Unable to sleep. He confessed to Victoria,

‘It’s my fault.’

Victoria incredulous. ‘What are you talking about?’ Conrad confessed that he laundered money for the terrorist group that claimed responsibility for downing that plane. It was Conrad's sole fault for the tragedy.

David Clark targeted as the fall guy.